Note 2 - Love life

Hi there again...

when it comes to relationship, I have a fucking six years of long distance relationship with a man who also a little brother of my old friend. He's in army and a year younger than me. 

Well, when others babbling around about how they cant stand with fucking "meet at two or three months a year", or some shit like that?! Hey, you outside there... I havent meet him for first four year of our relationship, because we were both still at school and I only meet him physically three times in a six year relationship. 

Can you imagine... three times? But I do appreciate that moment with him~~

What I like about him, he knows how to give lemonade, when life gives him lemon. He's enduring some difficulties during his childhood and secondly, he's not Malay but dont worry he's Muslim. Even he's not funny, army style and not good looking, I knew that he is the man for me and he loves me the way I am.

Sometimes, I get jealous when my friends are getting married with the one they love or always going for date with their lover and I'm here was like " does he even exist to me?"  or something like "does he cheating on me? yeah I'm just a fat girl and there are many hot girls out there" or probably something like "does he remember me? does he loved me?" although he convinced many times, along with some proof, but the doubt remain plays the part.

well, I know with his duty limits our chatting / meeting time but I do love him...What I want from inside my heart is if he could, spend some time off with me alone and we both going for some adventure or travelling. Also, he could introduce me formally to his family. Just in my dream, hmm...

I dont expect that our relationship lasts forever. My mother is okay with him, but IDK if mother thinks the same way due to some fucking circumstances (another reason why I'm having fucking trust issue with anyone, that hurts like a hell)

Before, I tried to forget him several times, but not for long time... I cant forget him.... He's too kind and sweet like dark chocolate. He also mentioned that he doesnt want to find another girl because I'm his light and life. Well, too sound like some old romantic line but I dont know what he sees in me.

To you, my love I might not be a good cooker, chubby, old fashioned, childish, easily get jealous or anything bad that I might done to you, I love you so much and no other man can be like you ~~

P/S: sometime, family comes first and mostly he spends his time with his family. I dont mind that but when I asked him to ask leave and he was like "oh no, too many things need to do this year and I cant just simply ask for a leave" emoticon crying 

so, i'm the asshole one.. thank you and it happens now 

Note 1 - Me and the Job

My current job.

I seriously enjoyed my job. 10 am until 6.30 pm (I always back home about 7 pm). But at the same time, I hate my customer's attitude. Too demanding, stingy, asking for lower price for my fucking great quality of the job and so on.

My current job involves photocopying, printing, laminating, book binding, letter / report typing and so on. Every time I open the shop, I always make sure that the shop looks clean and all the tools, machines and computer are switched on and ready to use.

I know my job are not decent as others. Just a worker with RM900 per month as basic. I know that my job does not equal with my degree qualifications. 

Sometimes, when someone (I know they didn't mean it) keep asking me about WHEN I should get a decent job with great salary, I would laugh loudly and said to them 

"Well, guess I'm not that lucky, sir"
"Yeah, auntie! The company has not called yet"
"Hmmm... I already do some job hunting ONLINE, yet not get any attention from any company"

Actually, there is another stories behind it.

Firstly, it happened about early this month. I got a SMS from a company that located at Marang, Terengganu.. but I rejected it.. because first I haven't been to Terengganu and I become doubtful when it comes to SMS? Yeah, who knows it maybe spam or something?

Secondly, it happens about this week. I got the email and SMS from Jobstreet stated that there is a company in Penang wold invite to their interview about next Teusday. A friend of mine told me that there is vacancy at her company , so she suggested me to applied it. So, I applied it. Then, something happens. My boss's wife got pregnant. First child. So he need to give his full attention to his wife (his wife stays with her family at Penang) and need to travel for a day or two every week. At that time, I cant just leave my boss alone with my inexperience co-worker. Then, I made my decision to reject the offer and help with my boss business until his wife's condition become stable.

People may get mad with me, because of the decision that I made. My boss telling me once, nowadays people are too choosing in finding a job and I admit it, I haven't found someone suitable to take over my position.

To my friends, thank you so much because help me finding the job and please, stop asking me about my job... I will joining you soon.